you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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