11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
