Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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