It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
