she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
