do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
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drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
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I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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