oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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