You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
