So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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