There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
