I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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