im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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