ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Randomize