Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
