The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
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