Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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