I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
