Don't make out with my wife yet
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
