Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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