now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Bring me that man meat
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
