Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The adults are the big ones right?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
