i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
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Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
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Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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