my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
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Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
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Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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