oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize