to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
