i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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