I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
