Plan B is the new Plan A
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
