I swear she didn't look like that last week.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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