You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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