I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
