Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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