Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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