Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
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Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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