I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If I die, sorry about rent.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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