He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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