You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
