Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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