Your mouth is God's brothel.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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