Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
