youre lurking in front of me
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
