My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
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My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize