Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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