I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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