He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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