We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
