He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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