Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
