I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
