There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
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Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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