A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize