Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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