I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
