obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize