Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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