Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
