My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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