HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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